Absolutely Hot Yoga

In search of my personal yoga perfection I booked myself a ten day pass at my local hot yoga studio. Such a leap of faith was it that I needed to holiday for a week in the hope of recovering from the stress of commitment to heat, sweat, pain and possible panic.

The holiday was super as you know. In Lanzarote I ‘endured’ heat, sweat, only the pain of one too many and no panic what so ever. But then I had to come home and be a yogi amongst titan yogis. Oh the terror. Ah, the lack of sleep. Hmmm, the self recrimination and the contemplation of pulling out and thus letting myself down.

I bought fast drying, tight fitting, all purpose leggings and a sports bra. I dug out a baggy cotton vest and a huge drink bottle. I promptly bottled out of the first class – a foundation level introduction – and so found myself in an ‘Absolute 50′, hour and a half session where my rapid changes of position bore no relation to the other yogis’ in the studio and my dizzy spells went virtually unnoticed because of all the contortionist movement going on around me. #smallmercies

“If this is your first hot yoga,” L……. said to me, “You might be happier at the back.”

Oh so much happier but there was no space for me at the back or I’d have been there boots and all.

My teacher moved an expert to the mirrored front and I settled into my natural habitat at the very tail end of yet another class. #storyofmylife

My brow was beaded with sweat and my breathing laboured. I felt ever so slightly feverish. It was very hot in there.

Then the class began.

“You can’t drink yet.” L…… had spotted me, bending for my bottle, all the way at the rear. “Move away from that jeroboam of water. We haven’t finished the warm up yet.”

Five minutes into the 90 and with 49 asanas to go and I was feeling humid, flushed and more than a little discombobulated. It got worse. Much worse. I was too hot to get the giggles. It wasn’t very funny anyway. I had a wee sit down and felt better. Briefly. Who knew so many of my body parts don’t work properly? Even in, joint relaxing, 40 degree heat.

My bathroom towel kept slipping on the yoga mat, bunching and fighting me with vicious abandon. Straightening it gave me regular breaks. And by now we were allowed to sip our fluids. To compensate the positions got harder. I was sort of managing the first stage of complex, body breaking contortions. And then having a little rest. I was dripping with sweat. L……. helped me into a couple of impossible holds. I realised body lotion makes the limbs very slippy to hold on to. At least I smelt nice. Well I hope I did.

I managed to complete the class. #yougogirl

I booked an ‘easier’ one for the Wednesday. I went. Then I booked an easier, easier one for Saturday.

I have persevered as an adjunct to my not hot yoga classes.

I am looking forward to my turn at this.

you are one crazy dude (www.telegraph.co.uk)
you are one crazy dude (www.telegraph.co.uk)

And in anticipation I have bought a non-slip towel and a smaller water bottle. I no longer apply lotion to my limbs before class. My hips are flexing wider and my waist seems to be shrinking.

It’s a journey – apparently.


30 thoughts on “Absolutely Hot Yoga

  1. I am still enjoying my private lessons–our last was in the park with singing birds, laughing children, barking dogs–and have blissfully, meticulously, strenuously avoided hot yoga. My teacher says a yoga studio shouldn’t have mirrors because it’s about how it feels, not how it looks. So there.

      1. Keep with it, my friend. I have mastered the dog and the baby but the plough, alas, is a distant dream.
        Remember that it’s not supposed to hurt and it is supposed to be fun. Effort, yes. Pain, no. And try very, very hard to ignore everyone else in the class.

  2. You brave, brave woman, you. 🙂 Go you!! You’re sticking to it, and feeling progress. Do you look forward to your yoga time yet? And thank you for this post, love joining you on your journeys–from a distance, I live the slippery hot yoga to you. 😛 Namaste. ❤

  3. You are a very brave woman (and a witty one). I much prefer tai chi as it is actually doable, and you move nice and slowly, without the excruciating pain of having to stay in one position for a fortnight. But I salute you!

  4. It sounds absolutely as hateful as I always suspected, humor notwithstanding. Heat intolerant, I find keyboarding in a hot room practically beyond me – and I’m really not sure whether avoiding fluids is any flavor of prudent.

    Have you tried regular yoga in a comfortable temperature? I have found it to have amazing benefits (not fainting, chief among them).

    Got here from Mrs. Fringe, btw.

    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
    – ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
    “It takes a village to transform a world!”

      1. I’m a Boomer who has been a yoga convert since my teen years when Richard Hittleman (and “the lovely Diane”) had a TV show, one of the first Yoga television series, Yoga for Health.

        It’s quite amazing what gentle yoga can do for the body – and how long the benefits last once your body “learns” flexibility (through a badly broken leg, years ago, and a hip cast for almost a year, for example!)

        I’m looking for a convenient class NOW (Hatha or Raja) – but so far I can only find in my walking ‘nabe is what might as well be calisthenics or aerobics! (I finally admitted to myself that I need encouragement and accountability to get me going again!)

        Glad to meet you – I’ll be back.

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