And breathe Mrs Carmichael, just breathe. Come on now. Man up, Woman! You’re only booking a quick hop, no frills flight to the Costa Brava. And the price is right. Or seems to be. What could possibly go wrong?
£30.99 Luton to Gerona including all taxes. Fantastic! Great price and the only budget airline to fly this route. There’s a seat with my name on it. Woo hoo off to the sunshine. Once I’ve bought the ticket that is.
I’m paying with my new credit card, first outing. Ah, (£1.60) for the privilege so it’s £31.99 now. Ok, I can live with that.
Oh, there’s a charge for luggage. Well, I guess the flight price is reasonable and Mrs C needs to look her best poolside. Let’s add (£35.00) to make a total of £66.99. Hmmmm.
Of course I don’t want to be stuck between strangers so I guess it’s priority boarding and low heels for me. Cheap at (£7.00). Running total, £76.99.
Insurance, sensible (£14.54), £91.53. But I’ve missed out the Plus, (£3.16) which brings it to £94.69 but hey, I’m the mug Singapore Airlines is still scrapping with (Singapore Airlines, A Tale of Three Halves.) so cheap at half the price.
Actually I do want to reserve my seat so I will fork out the £10.00 for that gladly – £104.69. Wow, the Priority boarding is no longer necessary (what a gift) so saved seat and stilettos it is, £97.69.
Better be texted my confirmation I guess, (£1.69) £99.38.
Can’t play golf without my golf clubs. You WHAT? (£50.00). Final total: £149.38!!!!!!!!!!
Back in your cage, credit card. Capsule wardrobe here I am. Dress me in monochrome.
No, I don’t want priority boarding, nor reserved seats. No to insurance. Yes, I’ve read the T’s and C’s (Fingers xed). No, no to your insurance thanks. Mrs C prides herself on risk taking. Do not text me anything.
I’ll give the hire car a miss this time. And the Ryanair hotel as well.
Oh, my sessions timed out.
No problem, I’ll just start all over again. No, no, yes to all of the above. Ah and no, to the kind offer of a cabin bag purchase. I fancy I’ll organise my own transfer and no I don’t want you to organise a tour of Gerona for me.
I’ll flag the golf and buy a Kindle.
Goodness, am I onto payment details already?
Yes, I’ve read the chuffing T’s and C’s and NO I DO NOT WANT your insurance.
Are we good to go? No?
Arrrgh, I don’t want to play lucky bingo for some family photos. No I really really don’t.
Tickets bought -olé José. Costa Brava (nice bits) here I come.
What there’s more? NO, I do not want the last chance opportunity to buy insurance from you and amazingly I have booked accommodation BEFORE I started this flight purchase process.
I am, however, looking forward to the offer of a relaxing electronic cigarette once on board.
Thumbs up, Michael. You, Sir are a maestro.
Please, please share the fourth leaf of your lucky clover with me.
ps: As you know math is not a forté of Mrs C. Any mistakes in this area are hers and hers alone. Ryanair, by comparison, is very good at adding up.
pps: Mrs Carmichael smokes neither real nor electronic cigarettes. Ryanair offers the latter to each and every passenger regardless of age.