My Five a Night – A List

I know all about the importance of consuming an eclectic collage of fruit and veg amounting to five separate portions per diem (not including potatoes [which are tubers anyway]) to maintain my body’s perfect contours. Alright yes, my fingers are crossed as I write that but will trust in the well worn cliché, ‘perfection’ is in the eye of the beholder and, yes again, I do have a long overdue optician’s appointment on Wednesday but what I need to list today, what is equally critical are my five necessities for potential hosts and hostesses to abide by when putting me up on my solo travels.

Some are more obvious than others but bear with.

1) mrscarmichael needs to sleep.

If I am to bubble and sparkle and amuse, if I am to get to my next overnight destination I need to be well rested. When one is 12,000 miles and thirteen hours away from Greenwich mean time I need a room of my own, a comfy bed (preferably double or larger), clean sheets, a fan if it’s humid (thank you Auckland, S……) and I need drugs.

a perfect welcome pack (mrscarmichael)
a perfect welcome pack (mrscarmichael)

Melatonin is my friend and I have no idea why the UK and New Zealand refuse to supply the sleep inducing, sunshine replacing, time clock regulating bottled sweet meat. Nil desperandum, a bit of forward planning and stock control is all that’s required.

NB: there is no pharmacy at Melbourne Airport once you are processed through passport control.

2) I want to wake up with a smile on my face.

There are a number of ways to achieve this end but a nice cup of tea (lemon and ginger) brought to me at an agreed time is always a winner in my eyes.

or peppermint, but I'd prefer that the night before (mrscarmichael)
or peppermint, but I’d prefer that the night before (mrscarmichael)

3) Mrsc likes a view.

I am not hard to please. I will take any worthy aspect be it the sea, lake, river (water based),

what more could a girl want? (mrscarmichael)
what more could a girl want? (mrscarmichael)


who needs curtains? (mrscarmichael)
who needs curtains? (mrscarmichael)

attractive sports venue,

I fought for this view but was relegated to the guest suite (mrscarmichael)
I fought for this view but was relegated to the guest suite (mrscarmichael)

or cityscape.

foreground, background, my home ground (mrscarmichael)
foreground, background, my home ground (mrscarmichael)

This is very easy to achieve. Just pop me in the best bedroom. I will reward you with complements, gratitude and I might even stay an extra night!

4) I want to have the best breasts in the bedroom.

Once this was an easy thing to achieve and I will still challenge any woman of my age (and younger at my discretion) to the pencil test but I am not going to be outdone by an armless mannequin.

I rest my case (mrscarmichael)
I rest my case (mrscarmichael)

5) I wish to be treated as if I am a paying guest (without the price tag).

And this, dear readers, is easy to do when I stay in Wellington’s compARTment, Vivian Street. My oldest friend in the world (years as friends not age) has upped sticks from the ‘burbs and moved to the centre of Wellington. Her apartment is fab with 360 degree views of my previous life. One corner of it is now the funkiest b and b in town and I got to stay in it (even if I did have to iron the sheets).

I ironed those -badly (mrscarmichael)
I ironed those -badly (mrscarmichael)

Here are some more professional pics (with sheets ironed to perfection)…..

There is nowhere better to stay in this fine town.

Thanks to all my wonderful friends who put me up and put up with me on my recent trip ‘down under’.

15 thoughts on “My Five a Night – A List

  1. That mannequin’s breasts are way too perky and I’d bet she takes them for granted. Maybe I’d be tempted to cut them off and put them on under my shirt! You sound like you’re such an easy-to-please guest. 🙂

    1. Excuse me, best breasts in the bedroom should not make me a diva (to my mind anyway). I my have minimum standards but I wear my praise and gratitude boldly.

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