The Twelve days of Christmas Past

christmas appropriate blooming bulbs (mrscarmichael)
christmas appropriate blooming bulbs (mrscarmichael)

Christmas is so last year I realise but sitting here, in my festive fat suit, I know the end of the road (or at least a goodly break) is both needed and neigh vis a vis the annual celebration at Casa Carmichael.

That is not to say we didn’t have a great time on Christmas Day. We did. My point is that this is only one of the twelve and those twelve tend to stretch and blur into a dark, wet, food filled dystopia that I am yet to pull out of.

Next year will be different. I have said it before. But this time I mean it.

Here’s why.

Day One

The 25th itself was wonderful. We had half the fam around for a late late turkey and trimming lunch. Because Mr Carmichael has, over the last few years, teamed up with Nigella and put himself in charge of the bird (beak to table) my stress levels are mollified a tad and I am free(er) to get on with everything else.

24 hour marinade a la naughty Nigella (mrscarmichael)
24 hour marinade a la naughty Nigella (mrscarmichael)

My SIL brought a trifle. Not just any trifle. This was, sans doubt, the trifle of all trifles. To get any idea of the anticipation surrounding this trifle you must read, re-read, Me, a ‘Pampered Chef’ and check out the wharf sized container she set about filling  D Day minus two. I kid you not!

Here is the trifle:

it LOOKS really, really good (mrscarmichael)
it LOOKS really, really good (mrscarmichael)

We played Human Cludo. It’s a brilliant game and I defy anyone to not enjoy it for hours and hours. Although a daughter various got herself murdered within the first 30 seconds the remaining Carmichaels had such a laugh. I have never seen our coal scuttle in quite so many inappropriate places and I still sport the bruises from a forced fist plunge into Daughter #1′s white chocolate and raspberry cheesecake (delicious) which we all know was cheating.

My niece and her boyfriend were accompanied by Finn, a Welsh Springer Spaniel who loves turkey, roast potatoes and cheese and crackers. He did not like the trifle.

hold the trifle (mrscarmichael)
hold the trifle (mrscarmichael)

I drank wine, water by the gallon and Berocca and thus avoided the Boxing Day hangover from hell which always starts with having to get up and cook breakfast for the waifs and strays who have slept at Casa Carmichael to avoid arrest and incarceration after a libation fuelled Crimble.

Day two

Mr Carmichael cooked breakfast. It was delicious. The outlaws left. I tried and failed to steal Finn and went for a well deserved nap. Rising, I raided the fridge and began to eat everything within. I watched TV while stuffing my face.

This extreme inaction set the dimension of action for the remaining ten days.

Day three

I went for a three mile walk along the Chess Valley (exception that proves rule) and spoke to lots of dog owners. I missed my dogs. It began to rain.

Home again I went on dog sites and checked out Welsh Springer Spaniel puppies.

I ate and drank a lot.

Day four

I played online scrabble.

And repeated day three (except for the walk – sore gluteus and rain).

Day five

Repeat of day four plus Anchorman 2 with Mr Carmichael. Dreadful.

Day six

I went food shopping, ate too much, broke out the Breaking Bad box set and sofa settled with Mr C for the duration. It was still raining.

Day seven

I prepared for one of my most hated days of the year. My new Year’s Eve antipathy deserves (and will get) a post of its own.

I had an argument with my husband. Well, we have been in high security isolation. Tell me I’m not the only one.

I went to bed at 11.00pm and was woken at midnight by fire works.

Day eight

Had Gracie and her current husband round for gammon (thank you Heston), mash and cabbage. And wine. And Bloody Mary’s. Bloody Fantastic.

Gracie and I planned our 2014 escapes while the ‘boys’ watched back to back football and shouted at the television.

Day nine

Applied for a month long dog sit in Turkey. Call me crazy. Have heard nothing yet but will keep you posted.

I changed being mrscarmichael‘s banner image and tag line and got rid of the snow.

Watched the gutters overflow.

Day ten (today)

Spotting a bauble fall off the Christmas tree (droopage) as I pen this post. The gutters are still waterfalling as the rain/hail pelts down. There is thunder nearby. I am about to go food shopping. I think about a diet.

Days eleven and twelve

I shall apply for an online memoir writing course that I have been mulling over about for months. I will really.

I shall go out. Anywhere.

We shall take down the tree, wreath and festive lights. Mr C might chop up the fir for firewood.

I shall eat, drink and prepare for extreme January weight loss (chance will be a fine thing).

I shall not count the days until next Christmas. Because that would be foolishly depressing.

Here’s to 2014 and the surprise that is where I’ll be next Christmas.

it's going to be a cracker (mrscarmichael)
it’s going to be a cracker (mrscarmichael)

Cheers ya’all.

46 thoughts on “The Twelve days of Christmas Past

  1. You do make me laugh so! ‘those twelve tend to stretch and blur into a dark, wet, food filled dystopia that I am yet to pull out of.’ This, is particularly hilarious. So I am cheering like mad the application to the memoir course, COME ON! You know I want you to! :) p.s. it is impossible to get through 12 days of Chrimbo without yelling at least once at one’s husband. That’s what they’re there for.

    1. Yes I must do it if only to find what I can/cannot say about the dead/living.

      The husband has been at the pub and is now asleep in bed!@£$%^&

      I am witless with boredom and the Turkey people say they have been ‘inundated’ with applications – quel surprise!

      I am now looking at a cat sit in Perth……….Australia!

  2. What perfection…animal sitting in a foreign locale, travel, site seeing, and a home with a host that does not bother you with boring conversation. Where does one find these kinds of opportunities online? You are always such a wealth of information. Happy New Year!

    1. TrustedHouseSitters.com. I am yet to get any of the ones I really really want tho – it’s rather competitive for the 5* opportunities.
      But, my dear, 2014′s the year! H NY too.

  3. I think you secretly enjoyed all this mass consumption! And if you didn’t, I enjoyed reading about it. Is the memoir writing course with the Australian Writers Centre? I know they offer one and having done two other online courses with them I can highly recommend them.

      1. I looked too. They have a life writing course and a travel memoir course but not online at the moment. You should sign up for their newsletter. It always lists all the online courses at the end. If you could wangle a dog/cat/budgie sitting job in Sydney, Melbourne or Perth you could do the course in situ! Their courses all cost $395AUD so with the current conversion rate that would be around 5 pounds!

      2. I’ve applied for a month in Turkey and am looking at a lovely one just north of NY in a MANSION.

        I can afford Perth but coming across at the mo is prohibitive – £2000.00 ish

  4. Happy New Year! Reading was much fun! Pet and/or house sitting in a far off lands sounds like just the answer as I type from 8″ of snowy environs slated for -15 F degree temps within days. Now that was one impressive trifle! I, too, have been on the steady seasonal eating routine, and find my job is getting in the way of my eating. Does breakfast include burnt toast?

    1. Happy NY to you too. Yes I must say, in the cause of veracity only, that the trifle looked better than it tasted :) I refrained from putting up images of the wastage but it was monumental!
      I understand the concept of eating interfering with work. I did not even wake up ’till 10 this morning so dark and wet it was out doors. Better than snow tho’.

  5. I get the high security isolation, Mrs C. Friends came over yesterday to bake cookies and I realized I hadn’t spoken to anyone but hubby in about a week. Arguments to be expected. Have a glass of wine and forget about it.

    Oh, happy 2014!

  6. Happy, happy, HAPPY New Year Mrs C and so say all of us…. :)
    If you get that house sit in Perth I will meet you for a coffee or what ever… We are sitting there in May-June. (Well just 300kms north but in our distances that is almost on the door step)

    1. And a happy NY to you too. I know what you mean about distances there :). Lots are coming up around Perth at the moment and air fares are just about acceptable to that side of Aus at the moment. Not so the eastern seaboard!!!!

    1. Thank you for the kind words and although I have had a couple of ok NY’s E’s – the majority have left me very much wanting.

      It’s more fun the other side of the world where outside is a possibility.

  7. Happy New Year, Mrs C. Your food and friends binge sounds very familiar. Except for me, less trifle, more cookies. And I’ll admit it, got rid of the tree on the 1st this year. Yes I did. Flower Child had to start back to school on the 2nd, and for me, the season is finished once I have to get up and start the pb&j sandwich ;)

    1. ours is in the drive now. rugs de needled. I am NOT a trifle fan (very bad childhood memories). diet tomorrow.

      H NY to you and the fam. I’m told it’s getting very very cold yours aways?

      1. We had a few bitter days, warmer but icy today, frigid air comes back Tuesday.

        It’s the Midwest who’s going to see the worst of it. I’m ready to hibernate, wake me when it’s beach weather :D

  8. I still have a post Christmas merriment hang over. So was my little boy who truly had a blast this . The night before school began we we’re still singing Christmas carols. Belated Merry Christmas. A toast to a great exciting New Year!

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